“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose”
The Word of God is true in every respect. No matter how much you think you know you may not be able to argue about the Word. It is potent, alive and powerful. The best you can do is to agree with God no matter how you feel about the situation and it will definitely come true for you. That I am sure.
Widowhood is a state where a woman looses her husband to death. No woman has ever bargained for this and no widow ever wishes for another woman to be like her. Yet this happens everyday because we can’t all go at the same time just as we are not born at the same time. As children of God we must understand that nothing happens to us without the knowledge of God. He has promised He will never give us more than we can bear (1st Cor 10:13). We must trust Him to see us through this dark and unexpected season.
This article will be useful to widows and anyone who is passionate about widows. I will attempt to make it simple yet deep, in bullet points that will get the reader to think deeply. My prayer is anyone who comes across this write up will find it useful.
He is no more, what next?
This is one question every widow must face. Your husband was your partner. He was your lover. The source of your strength and your pillar. Many women have found it very difficult to deal with this most especially to come to terms with the circumstances behind the death of their spouse. Many women live in denial for a long time and so are not able to do anything for themselves. You must accept the fact that he is no more. You must realise that he is not coming back. Scripture says it is appointed for a man once to die. You must deal with the loss in your heart. One question you are always tempted to ask at this point is “why me?” The question I will love you to ask yourself is “why not me?” God is good in every situation and you must let Him do what only He can do. Let him heal your heart, let Him chart a new course for your life. Allow him to take over the battle for you. Lamentations 3:37
Forgiveness – The key to moving forward
The widow is clouded with so much hurts and pains. You are battling with the pains of your loss and the circumstances around it, the society is not helping matters. The culture and tradition especially in Africa is causing a great deal of pain and the economic situation makes it even worse. Most people are not even sensitive to the plight of widows and worsen her situation with promises they cannot keep all in the name of love. The beamlights are all on the widow to scrutinise her next steps. They talk when they see her gloomy and also talk when they see her happy. What a world! As a godly widow, your strength must come from the Word of God. You must learn to forgive and forgive completely. You must also forgive in advance. Please don’t ever give room to strife and bitterness. You save yourself a lot of unnecessary pains when you do that. As you make up your mind to let go of all unforgiveness, God will give you all the grace you need. James 3:16
The Joy of the Lord is your strength
One good fight you must fight and win is the battle for your joy. You have the power to make yourself happy, please don’t let anyone take that from you. You can always redefine your source of happiness peace and tranquillity. Let the Word of God find its place in your heart. Refuse to define yourself by the standard of the world. Don’t carry a sad, gloomy face because you lost your husband. Be happy from inside that you still have your God, your future and your destiny. Invest your time wisely, develop yourself. Look for something to do in the house of God. Focus on giving your children the best if you have some. You cannot afford to die.
Look up to Jesus, Your source
One of the unfortunate situations a widow finds herself is being the breadwinner of her family suddenly. This happens especially when the husband was the economic strength and the wife was fully dependent on him. The woman becomes confused and in a bid to sustain her family becomes a ridicule and a stigma. People run away from her, do not pick her calls etc.
There are cases where her late husband’s friends want to sleep with her just because she needs help. The landlord is on her case and she finds herself vulnerable. It’s so sad that widowhood has become synonymous to beggarly. Hmmmm!
My dear sister, I have good news for you today! My favourite scripture since the loss of my husband is Isaiah 2:22 “Stop trusting in mere humans, who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem?..” This scripture made a huge difference in my life and I stopped looking unto ANY man for help. I don’t care what name he or she carries. Jehovah Jireh, The Great Provider has not relinquished that name or position to anyone. If he can turn stones to bread, He can do ANYTHING to ensure your needs are met, with or without man. He is the way maker, the miracle worker, promise keeper, He will do it for you!
Today, I want to challenge you concerning that situation staring you on the face. Go on your knees and give God back His words. Trust Him to do it and you will see wonders. God feels jealous when you look up to another mortal and sometimes He ensures that person doesn’t meet the need so you can trust Him the more. I can assure you that God will not fail you. You will surely testify.
What is in your hand?
This was the question God asked Moses when he complained that he could not carry the responsibility God was entrusting on him. Read Exodus 4:2. Woman, there is something within you that God wants to use to change your story. You must stop looking down on yourself and your ability. Think deeply, put your mind to work. Take advantage of the alone times and think of the value you can add. Build your self esteem. Build your capacity. Start from small and God will announce you. Stop waiting on others. Please stop it.
You can be happy again
That your husband passed on does not necessarily mean you cannot find love again. Please don’t deceive yourself. Listen to your heart and pray accordingly. The fact that you are a widow does not mean you are celibate. Give your heart a chance. Let God lead you. Do not cheapen yourself because you have a need, trust God to fill the void, distract yourself with service for God and humanity. The God of Ruth is still alive. Your Boaz is on the way.
Finally, you must purposefully allow God take the glory in this phase of your life. Boost your confidence in Him. Trust Him to see you through. Receive grace to be a mother and a father to your children. They will be taught of the Lord and great will be your peace. Don’t give up hope, your future is greater than your past. Trust God completely, if He let you go through it, He will bring you out of it. You will be a reference point for the faithfulness of God.